Where’s the support group for friends of vegans (or just old fashioned vegetarians) who have to deal with the hassle of their dietary needs, inability to eat anywhere and overall food snobbishness?

I saw this on CNN the other day, but apparently it’s made its way to Break.com. This bird in San Francisco has apparently been fucking with people’s heads. Literally.

I wonder if you can train birds to do this or if this one just has some strange attraction to people’s heads. I’d pay good money for one…

SF Blackbird Attacks Pedestrians – Watch more Funny Videos

Bet you’re not as good as these guys…

null – Watch more free videos

At least this cop thinks so…

Guess it really is all about the marketing.

Apparently, Jones has diversified his portfolio and is no longer only in the Big Ass Truck Rental & Storage business. Glad to see he’s doing well in this recession!

If this video doesn’t convince you to come to Cleveland, I don’t know what it will take.

From the director:

The Cleveland Tourism Board gave me 14 million dollars about 8 months ago to make a promotional video to bring people to Cleveland. As usual, I waited till the last minute and I ended up having to shoot and edit it in about an hour yesterday afternoon. I probably should have invested more time.

Spotted at TPPS

One of my favorite sites to browse on Bloglines is called Passive Aggressive Notes. People send in various notes, which have usually been posted by co-workers, janitors or really anyone who actually believes putting up a list of instructions for people will be effective in solving their grievances. Obviously, these notes seem to provide more entertainment than produce actual results.

Today, I was fortunate to receive my own passive aggressive note from my new neighbor, who decided to skip the formal introductions and get right to complaining (of course when I wasn’t home to catch him putting the thing on my door).

The text may be hard to read because of my limited display space on the blog, so I’ll go ahead and provide dictation for my loyal reader(s).

Hey neighbor, this is the dude that lives below you in XXXX. Can you do me a favor and try not to walk so heavy/loud on the floors?

The ceilings are really thin, and whenever you walk into your kitchen, it literally shakes everything in my kitchen cabinets. I guess, if you tried to not walk on your heals (sic) so much, most people don’t even realize they’re doing it, but it carries right through the floors.

Especially at early morning <9AM or late night 10PM-2AM it’s really crucial.

Thanks.

-Danny

This request is absolutely hilarious to me. As someone working in the music business and living in an apartment complex, I generally expect to piss off my neighbors, but usually because of the noise constantly coming from the unhealthy amount of speakers I keep around.

Walking too loud? I don’t even know how to reply. I’m thinking about sending a note back asking for a demonstration on softening my step (which would be video taped and posted here on Xplosive World), as Danny is obviously an expert. Maybe I’ll just nip this in the bud now and just let him know that I’ve only been in the new place for 4 days and simply state: Things are going to get much worse and suggest he look into relocating.

Whatever happens, I promise it will be extremely entertaining for everyone (except poor Danny with the thin ceilings).

How great would this be to break out after a one-night stand?

I, Chief Justice John Roberts do solemnly swear,
That I royally fracked up trying to administer the presidential Oath of Office from memory.
That I embarrassed myself and the nation by getting something so simple—something memorized by every boy and girl in, like, second grade—so excruciatingly wrong.
And, in so doing, came within a butt hair of accidentally making Sasha Obama President of the United States.
Not that that would necessarily be a bad thing,
But you have to admit juggling first grade and the presidency might be a bit much for a seven year old.

But I digress.

Most important, I do solemnly swear that four years from now,
When I’m swearing in Barack Obama for a second term,
In fact, any time I’m swearing anybody in for anything,
Whether it’s President of the United States or notary public,
I will execute the…no, wait!…I will faithfully execute the Herculean task of doing what Justice John Paul Stevens had the good sense to do, given the gravity of the moment,
By bringing an index card—which I can get a whole pack of for a buck over at The Dollar Store,
On which I will have scribbled, legibly, the words to the Oath of Office.

So that I don’t frack up again, unnecessarily reminding the world once more that I am an appointee of former President Bush.
So help me God.

Faithfully.