I remember the days when I used to get angry at predatory businesses. Those businesses that decided rather than operating an honest establishment and providing a true service to their customers; they would look for any opportunity they could find to rip their customers off under the belief that these consumers were not powerful enough to damage their credibility. Oh, how I love you internet!

Let’s start this saga from the beginning. About a week ago, I purchased a very slick Lexus ES 300 from a dealer in Chapel Hill. Yeah, the game’s been good to me. But not that good. There was a minor problem with the purchase in the fact that the dealer was not in possession of the original keyless entry remotes that should have come with the vehicle. Usually, I would’ve demanded this problem to be rectified prior to the purchase, but the dealer was willing to play ball on the purchase price, so I agreed to eat the cost of replacing the remotes.

I first looked to a Lexus dealership to replace the remote, but their $450 price tag on the new key & programming made eBay a much better option. It cost me about $80 bucks to replace the key (the keyless entry controls are built into the key itself) and the merchant sent programming instructions, that initially scared the shit out of me, but actually worked and it only took me about 5 minutes to program the thing. I was relieved that I had just saved myself a couple hundred bucks and figured the hard part was out of the way. Wrong.

Although, the keyless entry system was now working, I still had to get the key cut. For some reason, Lexus decided to make this process very difficult, by inserting the grooves to their keys inside the metal frame as you can see in the picture above. I called around to Wal-Mart and a couple of other places I knew to handle key duplication, who all told me that they didn’t have the technology to perform that sort of duplication and I would have to find a locksmith.

Finding a locksmith to handle the task was a bit harder than I thought, but I finally talked to a nice old scumbag guy, who recommended Marshall’s Locksmith in Raleigh. I looked them up, found their website and was even able to submit my information online and receive a price quote from them before making the trip out there.

They quickly responded letting me know they could handle the job for $35. Not bad, although still more than I wanted to pay to get a fucking key duplicated.

So I finally make the trip out there today and explained what needed to be done. The inbreed guy behind the counter informed me that they could handle the job…for $125. I gave the guy a cockeyed glare and let him know I was quoted $35 for the job. He was obviously disappointed by the news and began to try to convince me that simply cutting the key may not work because “it may have a transponder chip”, which would require the car to be hooked up to a computer and programmed. Hence the word may in the previous quote, as at this point he was definitely not certain that this would be an issue.

It didn’t make sense to me that the key would need any sort of extra programming, as it was clear that my car was already accepting whatever radio frequency this remote was emitting. I told him I’d take my chances on just having the thing cut.

Clearly disappointed that I wasn’t buying his bullshit, he takes my keys and proceeds with the duplication. This process literally took less than 2 minutes. Not even enough time for me to update my Twitter status about this adventure.

He returns with my newly cut key, rings me up for $35, which he certainly deserved for all that labor he put into this job. Then as he hands me my receipt, he confidently informs me that they will be happy to handle the programming of the transponder when I “decide” to have it done. If this guy had not been about 3 times my size, I would have tried to stab him in the eye with the key right there on the spot. I knew before I got to my car that this key wasn’t going to work and so did he.

And, of course, it didn’t. I’m still not sold on the idea that a transponder has anything to do with this, as the key definitely seemed to fit awkwardly in the ignition and for all I know the guy used some secret locksmith trick to ensure that the thing would come close, but not start the car. Frankly, I don’t care. My problem is that this guy knew from the time I explained the job, what it would entail and I’m confident that he didn’t learn anything new between the time I walked in and after he had processed my payment that would allow him to predict that simply cutting the key would not work.

Rather than spend any more time on this stupid process, I’m cutting my losses and will just shave the non-working key down to function as a keyless entry remote (which is all I wanted to begin with) and continue using the key I’ve got.

As for Marshall’s Locksmith, I’m happy to use my secret search engine optimization tricks to ensure that anytime a customer looks them up, they will not fall prey to their deceptive business practices.

Thanks Marshall’s Locksmith! It was a pleasure being ripped off by doing business with you…

I’m getting ready to make a big move and needed a paper shredder to safely remove the miles of documents that have accumulated in my office over the past few years. I thought it was a blessing when I got an email last week from Chase Bank notifying me that I had spent enough money using their debit card to have accumulated the proper amount of “reward points” needed for the Royal JS800 Paper Shredder. I immediately put in the order and it only took 5 days before the thing arrived.

I became frustrated with the paper shredder immediately. While these things have never worked exceptionally well for me, this thing was easily the worst of the worst. For every 5 minutes of shredding I was able to do, I spent about 10-20 minutes having to clear paper jams from the blades of the thing.

The icing on the cake with this piece of shit came 2 days after I received the product. As I was shredding papers awaiting my next jam, the back of the shredder started smoking and suddenly a ball of fire shot out the back of the thing. Luckily, I wasn’t injured, but it’s pretty easy to imagine that someone could have been.

As if this weren’t bad enough, when I placed a call to Royal’s Product Support Hotline, I was given the address of a Post Office Box in Summerset, New Jersey and instructed to write them a letter about my issue with this product, while being assured once my letter was received- Royal would be glad to replace the product. “Is there a phone number I can call?”, I asked the Product Support Rep. “No sir. No phone number. We have fax number for them. No phone.”, the operator replied. I asked for a supervisor, which this guy apparently didn’t have, so the CEO of the Royal Company who is also their only member of the Product Support Department was absolutely no help to me.

I’m still trying to figure out my next step with this, but I’m not a big fan of electronics blowing up in my face, so for now I’ll just make sure to give the company some really bad PR and hope that anyone considering buying anything from Royal will read this and reconsider.

Check the pictures below to see what a great product Royal has put on the market.

For as long as I can remember, the only time I heard mention of the word Hyundai was when it was being used in the context of a joke- generally representing mediocrity in the auto industry. At some point not so long ago, Hyundai seems to have stopped joking around and started building cars that can compete with other imports.

Last Summer, with gas at $4+ per gallon, I decided to capitalize on the fact that rental car companies were pricing their SUV’s cheaper than a Chevy Aveo. I reserved one for a week while traveling- willing to absorb the increased gas cost for the extra room.  I had second thoughts about the decision when I went to retrieve the rental to find a Hyundai Santa Fe was the only SUV available. As the clerk started trying to talk me into a mini-van, I decided to bite the bullet and took the Hyundai.

Once I was able to get over my prejudice to the Hyundai brand, I realized the Santa Fe was actually a good SUV compared to others I’ve driven. It had a lot of features, drove well and was comfortable. It even looked good. I didn’t realize how good it looked until I walked up to an Acura MDX in a parking lot that I had mistaken for the Santa Fe.

A few weeks later I visited a friend who had recently purchased a new Hyundai Sonata sedan. I could tell he was ready for his Hyundai to become a joke that would never get old to me, so he was surprised when I told him the story about the Hyundai I had rented and my new found respect for them.

Today, the Hyundai Genesis (pictured above) was named Car of the Year at the Detroit Auto Show after being named the Top-Rated Upscale Sedan by Consumer Reports earlier this week. The Genesis is outperforming the Acura TL, Lexus ES350 and other well-known luxury brands across the board.

In these tough economic times, maybe Hyundai is setting up to become the best choice for a baller on a budget. Maybe the U.S. auto-makers should study what they’ve done to reinvent them self and take a few notes. I wonder if it was a snobbish pre-disposition that had me convinced Hyundai’s were garbage or if the company truly made really bad cars, but to repent for the years of ridicule I’ll dedicate a post to Hyundai and be one of the first to say; it’s okay to drive a Hyundai.

I’ve been giving the new T-Mobile G1 phone a test drive for the past week. It’s currently boxed up and will soon be returning to my local T-Mobile retailer. I’ll be switching back to my Blackberry 8800 that luckily didn’t attract a buyer on eBay. It’s unfortunate, as I had high hopes for this phone and researched the device extensively- paired it against competitors and finally decided it was a better device than the iPhone or the new Blackberry Storm. While I still believe the Android operating system is going to prove to be superior to the others, my conclusion is the G1 phone was released prematurely and is not suitable for most users.

The G1 really has the potential to be great. If I only needed a phone for web browsing and personal use, I would probably be raving about this device. The design of the phone is perfect, the 3G speed on T-Mobile’s network is very fast and the applications available impressed me as much, and sometimes more, than anything I’ve seen on an iPhone. Shazam, the music ID application currently being used in iPhone advertising, is also available on the G1 and is actually as cool as it looks on the commercial. There’s a couple of applications used for price comparison when shopping that allow you to scan a bar code with the phone’s camera and find the best price for an item at nearby stores or on the web. This is a great tool in our current economic state and should save consumers a lot of money. There’s even an application called flashlight that simply illuminates the phone with a bright white light, which isn’t really on the cutting edge of technology, but useful nonetheless.

The major flaw with the phone is the battery. It’s amazing that the developers tested this phone out and gave it a green light after experiencing the ridiculously short life of the battery. An average phone user is likely to get a half day at best out of the phone before you need to plug in and more frequent users probably need to stay near a power outlet at all times. You can turn all the battery draining services off like the 3G connection, Bluetooth and the brightness of the display and still won’t get a full day of service from the device (not to mention you’re disabling one of the most important components of the device with the 3G connection). To sum it up; any phone that has a full charge when you go to sleep and has less than 40% of it’s battery life remaining when you wake up should not be on the market.

Additionally, the phone has serious issues with email. I’ve read reviews that suggest the phone handles Gmail better than POP mail, but I found there to be problems with message retrieval across the board. I tried a number of configurations hoping to achieve more frequent message retrieval and notifications, but was unable to make the email client work properly. I had to manually open each mailbox and wait while the device communicated with my server anytime I wanted to find out if I had email. After a few days, I pretty much gave up on using the device for email altogether.

A few other complaints I have about this device is its lack of ability to sync with Outlook, which is something I think most Blackberry users will find frustrating. Also, the lack of ability to open any MS-Office documents or PDF files is a problem, although I expect this to be something an application developer will solve shortly. There also needs to be some sort of tiling system for applications that would allow you to switch between open applications quickly, as the current setup requires you to bounce back and forth to the home screen to launch each app.

I can’t recommend the G1 to anyone right now, but as I told a colleague this morning, I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m back at T-Mobile in a month or two purchasing the phone again once it’s been confirmed that the battery and email issues have been acknowledged and corrected. I’ve seen the light now and am excited to get my hands on a 3G device that can become my new portable office, but will continue to exercise patience until I’m sure the right device exists.

Atlanta, Georgia has a rich history in the hip-hop game. It’s been the breeding ground of some of the South’s most notable contributors to the hip-hop industry- as the birthplace to legendary groups such as Outkast and Goodie Mob or chart-topping solo acts like Ludacris and Young Jeezy. The Atlanta area has always embraced a variety of sounds in their hip-hop landscape, while never allowing the music scene to be defined by single sub-genre of hip-hop. The city’s ability to constantly reinvent its signature sound is the reason Atlanta artists are consistently finding success in the modern music environment.

One artist that is looking to continue ATL’s storied tradition of developing hit makers is B.o.B a/k/a Bobby Ray or just Bob if you want to keep it simple. While B.o.B has been making noise in underground hip-hop circles across the U.S. for a few years, his recent mixtape, Who the F#*k is B.o.B?, suggests that he’s preparing to familiarize himself with a wider audience and is ready to re-introduce the world to the sound of Atlanta hip-hop.

If I had to describe B.o.B in one word after listening to his latest offering it would have to be: versatile. There isn’t much Bob can’t do. On Who the F#*K is B.o.B?, the artist displays his ability to produce his own material (and do it well) on tracks like “Double Bubble” or “East-Side Tales”, the lyrical ability to go bar for bar with proven Atlanta heavyweights like T.I. and Ludacris on “I’m Dat Ni**a” and “On Top of the World” or displaying his greatest strength throughout the album- his ability to create some of the most melodic and mesmerizing hooks the hip-hop industry has ever heard. I’m predicting that by the end of 2009, a B.o.B hook will have replaced auto-tuned vocals as a key ingredient in the (not so) secret formula for crafting a successful hip-hop record.

This mixtape, at times, will have you swearing that Bob is somehow channeling Big Boi and Andre 3000, as there are clear similarities to be drawn between the newcomer and Outkast. But Bob’s style is 100% authentic and sounds more like what Outkast would have sounded like had they leaned left instead of right after Aquemini.

Overall, Who the F#*k is B.o.B? is a project I highly recommend to anyone who has recently found themselves complaining about a lack of originality in hip-hop. The mixtape truly offers something for everyone. It features a well-rounded selection of tracks, great use of sampling and B.o.B’s uncanny ability to make a decent record a hit with his hook-writing ability. This mixtape is extremely pleasing to the ears and has me thoroughly convinced that B.o.B will be one of the hip-hop industry’s biggest names very soon.

Maybe I just don’t get this new hipster rap trend. I don’t even like using the phrase hipster rap because I really don’t think this new sub-genre of hip-hop has been clearly defined. If the new mixtape from Harlem’s Charles Hamilton, Sonic the Hamilton, is supposed to represent this new movement- I’m not down with it.

Hamilton is an MC that has gained a heavy internet buzz over the past few months and become a favorite amongst bloggers, who give him enough praise that it could lead you to believe he’s already a power player in the hip-hop industry. He’s hard to miss with his flashy attire, usually highlighted by tones of hot pink and purple, and is generally pictured with a smug facial expression that can lead one to wonder what the kid has accomplished to make him so cocky.

I’ve been reluctant to explore Hamilton’s music, based off my natural instinct to resist something I feel someone is trying to force down my throat. I feel as though some of the new artists that are breaking out right now have earned their way into the big leagues, while others are the work of major label piggybacking that has diluted the talent pool.

With the blogs in a frenzy over the release of Sonic the Hamilton, I finally gave in and downloaded a copy- really hoping that I’d be asking for a late pass on this artist and beating myself up for being overly judgmental. Unfortunately for Hamilton, I feel more like a prophet than a hater right now.

Hamilton’s wordplay is your standard braggadocio lyricism that is common for NY hip-hop. His delivery is lazy and lacks the sort of punch needed to stand out over the sample-heavy beats and quirky sound effects that are commonly used throughout the mixtape.

As you may have figured out from the title, Hamilton has a strange obsession with Sonic the Hedgehog and the old Sega Genesis game system. I thought this fascination would be explained through some clever metaphors on the mixtape, which would allow me to understand why this dude wants to be a hedgehog. Nope. I’m still confused.

To Hamilton’s credit his lyricism isn’t bad and he is capable of stringing together a few clever bars, but overall he lacks the consistency and creativity in his rhymes that would have him competing with any well-known lyrical MC.

The conclusion I’ve drawn after listening to Sonic the Hamilton is that the hipster rap movement is nothing more than recycling of what we called backpack rap until about a month ago. The same people have traded in their backpacks and Ecko hoodies for Louis Vuitton man-purses and designer brand flannel.

The characteristic of both genres that I believe is going to remain the same is the lack of commercial viability for this type of sound. The major labels that are starting to hedge their bets on this movement should realize that artists like Kanye West and Lupe Fiasco, who have to be viewed as the elder statesman of the movement, are anomalies in the hip-hop industry that can’t be recreated through marketing. Most hip-hop fans are too smart for that.

If you’re really intent on checking out this new crop of talent that is buzzing in hip-hop; check out Wale or B.o.B. and unless you’ve been waiting for an MC to pop up that shares your passion for Sega and hedgehogs, go ahead and pass on Charles Hamilton.

It’s time to put my money where my mouth is regarding T.I.’s new album Paper Trail and I should invoice Atlantic Records for that money because of the gospel I’ve been singing about this release.

We all know Tip’s story at this point. He was setup trying to purchase the sort of firearms needed for a small army and at one point in the not-so-distant past, it was questionable as to whether we’d see the rapper at all for 15-20 years and the thought of a new album seemed almost laughable.

While awaiting trial, Tip, confined to his home on house arrest, resisted the self-destructive urges many would find themselves in while riding out their (assumed) last days of freedom, rather T.I. seized this as an opportunity to make the album of his career.

That’s a big statement. We’re talking about an artist who has been almost flawless since he came on the scene less than 10 years ago.

What separates Paper Trail from the rest of his catalog is that T.I. has finally found the balance he was looking for, but couldn’t reach with his previous albums, especially T.I. vs. T.I.P., where the matured, former trapper turned businessman and the sharp-tongued MC who will verbally dismantle any artist coming for his throne must learn to co-exist with one another.

Instead of the schizophrenic concept he brought with the last offering, T.I. comes straight from the heart allowing him to shine on the epic-sounding lead singles like “No Matter What” and the hypnotizing “Live Your Life” with Rihanna, to the modern-day “Ether” directed at his (assumed) nemesis Shawty Lo “What up, What’s Haapnin” (where he never actually mentions the artist by name) or the surprise smash “Whatever You Like”, which many critics bemoaned as too soft for the street-bred rapper until it’s record breaking ascent to the top of Billboard’s singles chart.

I remember sitting on an Atlantic Records street team call after T.I. released King in 2006 and listening to teams from around the country attempt to explain why the R&B flavored, “Why You Wanna” record wasn’t having the same impact as the monster single “What You Know”. The consensus was that T.I.’s core fan base wanted street records, not something forced because the industry formula required an artist to follow up a club smash with “chick song”.

The already proven success of the lead singles from Paper Trail demonstrates that T.I.’s audience has matured with him and they are not afraid to support him as he transitions into a smarter, grown up hip-hop artist.

This album is going to stand up to any other hip-hop release that we’re going to see this year, although I still firmly believe many of these 4th Quarter mega-releases are all talk. But even if say, Jay and Kanye get their projects out, I still don’t think these albums can be better than Paper Trail.

T.I. may have inadvertently found something the game has been missing when making this album, by actually taking time off, albeit not by choice, to compose his thoughts, pick his beats carefully and focus strictly on making an album reflective of the emotion that went into making it. This isn’t an album that was recorded in the back of a tour bus, in between takes on a movie set or in between meetings with investors to discuss his next business venture.

This is a sharp contrast to today’s quantity over quality approach, where we find talented artists rushing to deliver albums too quickly or in some cases leaking their own unfinished tracks that have admittedly been crafted faster than it has taken me to write this review.

Yes, Kanye, I’m talking about you.

SNIPPET: “Now 22 years old and signed to independent powerhouse SMC Recordings, QP maintains that Born 2 Win attitude that led him to early success; and, using a fast-paced flow reminiscent of his hometown group, Bone Thugs, he describes the lifestyle that’s The Norm 4 Me.”- M.Burmy for DJBooth.net

LINK TO THE FEATURE: http://www.djbooth.net/index/tracks/review/qp-the-norm-4-me/

As we get ready to wrap up 2007 I’ll be reviewing some notable moments in hip-hop that I feel need to be documented (I know, this is kind of played out at this point, but I’m doing it anyway). As if it really needs to be stated…2007 wasn’t a great year for lyrical rappers. Sure, the usual suspects were dropping gems (usually on someone else’s track), but there’s also a lot of names missing that you can always count on for at least one notable verse each year even if they don’t deliver their own product (I’m talkin’ to you Joe Budden). So this task was a little harder than I expected it to be. While some were automatic, I really had to dig through the crates (of mp3s) to remind myself of what dropped this year, but I think what I’ve come up with is on point and if you care to disagree…that’s what the comment section is for.

5. The Game on “A Bay Bay Remix” (from Hurricane Chris’s 51/50 Ratchet)
You wouldn’t really expect to find a lyrical gem on “A Bay Bay”. I’m riding for ‘Cane and think this was definitely one of the best club bangers to drop all year, but you’re not going to find the kid mentioned with Rakim, Nas, etc anytime soon. The Game, on the other hand, is one of those MCs that can sneak up on you with his lyrical tenacity and set fire to an otherwise production & hook driven track. On here he breaks bread with his southern counter-parts by working in various references to hit southern records and giving all southern MCs some ammo against anyone hating on their success. This was definitely the standout verse to an otherwise under-whelming and overloaded remix.

You can find me in tha a bay bay
Buckin full of cry-stale V.I.Ped up
Goin hard in body tap where they throw that cheeze up
I been about my paper niggas know about my stack
You dont like that dirty money send yo girl to wipe me down
Million dollars on my neck and wrist shine for a mile
She wanna see it up close then she gotta walk it out
Im tha king of this rap shit what the fuck they talkin bout
Niggas cant sell records so they blame it on tha South
I be all through Shreve-port Louisiana ballin
Like who the fuck said aint no choppers in New Orleans
My rims so clean they spinnin like a world-wind
Pull up at the club bitches textin they girlfriends
They know who i is they know who i am
I be flyin through the south in that burgundy land
Pull up at the light my shit so bright
She want my number shit call me tonight
Pick up the phone like

4. Common on “Start the Show” Verse 1 (from the album Finding Forever)

I’ve been kind of divided when it comes to my feelings on Common in recent years. He’s proven himself as a great MC and will always be mentioned with those bringing something “positive” to hip-hop, but at times I’ve felt his albums were overrated, redundant in sound and he starts to border on doing too much preaching. And then I remember that deep down inside, Common is a battle rapper, capable of stepping up to any lyricist in the game and will take the gloves off when necessary (although this doesn’t appear to be his prerogative these days). So when he jumped off the Finding Forever album with this track, I was definitely impressed with Common’s subtle jabs at the current hip-hop industry as a whole. This track echoed the same sentiments throughout, but I chose this verse in particular because of the “Young Who?” line, something I can relate to as I’m already writing off any new rappers being presented to me with Lil or Young in their name due to lack of originality.

Ladies and gentlemen the C-O-double-M-O-N
Synonym for fresh, truth is the emb-lem
Hardcore since I was next door to Clem and them
Cold as the winter when fake niggaz was shiverin
Shakin in they Timberlands, you was played as Bennigans
Hot for a minute, now you just a “remember him”
I been a +Master+ since P was No Limit-in
Stick a sayin, no gimmick and no mimickin
Q infinitin down old blocks are bendin in
Yellin (Fuck Tha Police) like Ren and them
Pelican brief these niggaz on who I be
Before the paper and the fame
niggaz knew RashidNoble like Dru Ali -
many have come
but few have been chose to be a true MC
You sing along wit it, inside you knowin it’s wack
Young who? I don’t need a openin act [echoes]

3. Jay-Z on “Rehab (Remix)” (from Amy Winehouse’s Back to Black)

There hasn’t been a year in recent history where Jay didn’t come through with some heat. He was working overtime this year, now that he’s officially given up on that whole retirement thing, by delivering not only a GREAT album, but also putting his stamp on a good variety of remixes and features. I felt like this verse he dropped on “Rehab” had to get the nod for his best work this year because it demonstrates everything about Jay’s lyrical ability that we’ve come to know and love. First, I wouldn’t have expected a rapper to be able to shine on this track. The first remix I heard also included Pharoahe Monch, another artist I’ve got a lot of respect for, but didn’t seem able to catch the rhythm on this one. Jay on the other hand tore the joint to shreds, with clever metaphors and an enthusiastic delivery that was able to help crossover “Rehab” into a track that hip-hop listeners could accept. I don’t know about you, but I’m all for rehabbing myself with Jay’s 12 step program.

More money, more checks,I’m addicted to fresh
Six pair of kicks is my definition of 12 steps
Kick back in the back, get the phantom to drop
Bass blarin outta my system, thats how i detox
O when will he stop, he still pumpin that real sh*t
My flow so dumb, my face is numb, n*gga,i dont feel sh*t
Wheres a therapist? Yea I’m outta control
They tryna make me go to rehab, I won’t go, no
And so I’m addicted,
I’m Britney, Whitney, and Bobby
Betty Ford ain’t ready for it, ain’t nothin can stop me
O look he’s collapsin, just look how he’s rappin
Everytime I try to get out it pulls me back in
Amy should have rehab’d him,’stead she doubled his ration
Can you blame me for being a slave to my passion
My heron flows more deeper than marilyns nose
I’ma o.d. till I’m in peace like Anna Nicole, hov!

2. Kanye West on “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” Verse 2 (from the Graduation album)

I was honestly shocked when this dropped as the lead single for the Graduation album. It broke all the rules pertaining to how you’re “supposed” to release your singles. You might not always deliver your biggest club banger as your leadoff, but usually want to go with something that can at least be played in the club. The only time you heard “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” in the club was when the lights came on and security was booting everybody out the door. But this song still broke out with a vengeance and had everybody (trying) to spit every verse word for word when it came on. Little did we know that Kanye could get away with putting this mellow track out as a teaser, as he had plenty up his sleeve to ensure he’d dominate the charts in 2007.

Let up the suicide doors.
This is my life homey, you decide yours.
I know Jesus died for us,
But I couldn’t tell you who decide wars.
So I parallel double parked that motherfucker sideways
Old folks talking bout back in my day
But homey this is my day.
Class started 2 hours ago,oh am I late?
You know I already graduated
And you can live through anything if Magic made it.
They say I talk with so much emphasis,
OOOO they’re so sensative.
Don’t ever fix your lips like collagen
Say something were you gone end up apologising.
Let me know if it’s a problem man,
Alright man, holla then.

1. Andre 3000 on “What a Job” (from Devin the Dude’s Waitin’ to Inhale)

For the second year in a row Andre 3 Stacks was the one showing everybody else how you stay relevant as you become a veteran to the hip-hop game. While he didn’t surprise us as much with unexpected remixes and features like he did last year, his buzz certainly carried over into 2007. I actually got a sneak peek of this one back in January at the Rap-A-Lot offices, but at the time didn’t get to hear the brilliance of the verse Andre delivered for an album that was unparalleled and still in heavy rotation with me. There’s not many MCs that are going to convince people to stop stealing their music. The common philosophy that people have when it comes to illegally downloading hip-hop is “How you gonna tell me not to download your music, when all you’re talking about is how much money you got?” Fair enough. But somehow when Andre puts it in perspective, it starts to make sense and while it probably didn’t do much to curb piracy- at least he’s presenting listeners with a valid reason not to do it. And that’s just referencing his first couple of bars, when combined with everything else he had to say, Devin’s blissful hook and the overall vibe of the entire track you’ve got the easy pick for the standout verse of year in hip-hop.

We work nights, we some vampires
Niggas gather round the beat like a campfire
Singin’ folk songs, but not no Kumbaya my Lord
You download it for free, we get charged back for it
I know you’re saying, they won’t know they won’t miss it
Besides, I ain’t a thief, they won’t pay me a visit
So if I come to your job, take your corn on the cob
And take a couple kernels off it that would be alright with you
Hell no! Yeah, exactamundo
But we just keep recording and it ain’t to get no condo
And Candy Bentley fanny with no panties in Miami
And that cute lil’ chick named Tammy that you took to the Grammys
See we do it for that boi that graduated
That looked you in your eyes real tough and said ‘preciate it
And that he wouldn’ta made it if it wasn’t for your CD number 9
And he’s standing with his baby momma Kiki and she cryin’ talkinbout
That they used to get high to me in high school
And they used to make love to me in college
Then they told me ’bout they first date, listenin’ to my tunes
And how he, like to finger nail polish
I say hate to cut you off but I gotta go
I wish you could tell me mo’ but I’m off to the studio, gotta write tonight
Hey, can you put us in your raps? I don’t see why not
Devin it’s the Dude you gon’ probably hear him talking ’bout

***DISCLAIMER: All lyric transcriptions were stolen from other sites (that are also stealing them in most cases) and I’m not guaranteeing the accuracy of these lyrics and not taking the time to check them myself.****