I remember the days when I used to get angry at predatory businesses. Those businesses that decided rather than operating an honest establishment and providing a true service to their customers; they would look for any opportunity they could find to rip their customers off under the belief that these consumers were not powerful enough to damage their credibility. Oh, how I love you internet!

Let’s start this saga from the beginning. About a week ago, I purchased a very slick Lexus ES 300 from a dealer in Chapel Hill. Yeah, the game’s been good to me. But not that good. There was a minor problem with the purchase in the fact that the dealer was not in possession of the original keyless entry remotes that should have come with the vehicle. Usually, I would’ve demanded this problem to be rectified prior to the purchase, but the dealer was willing to play ball on the purchase price, so I agreed to eat the cost of replacing the remotes.

I first looked to a Lexus dealership to replace the remote, but their $450 price tag on the new key & programming made eBay a much better option. It cost me about $80 bucks to replace the key (the keyless entry controls are built into the key itself) and the merchant sent programming instructions, that initially scared the shit out of me, but actually worked and it only took me about 5 minutes to program the thing. I was relieved that I had just saved myself a couple hundred bucks and figured the hard part was out of the way. Wrong.

Although, the keyless entry system was now working, I still had to get the key cut. For some reason, Lexus decided to make this process very difficult, by inserting the grooves to their keys inside the metal frame as you can see in the picture above. I called around to Wal-Mart and a couple of other places I knew to handle key duplication, who all told me that they didn’t have the technology to perform that sort of duplication and I would have to find a locksmith.

Finding a locksmith to handle the task was a bit harder than I thought, but I finally talked to a nice old scumbag guy, who recommended Marshall’s Locksmith in Raleigh. I looked them up, found their website and was even able to submit my information online and receive a price quote from them before making the trip out there.

They quickly responded letting me know they could handle the job for $35. Not bad, although still more than I wanted to pay to get a fucking key duplicated.

So I finally make the trip out there today and explained what needed to be done. The inbreed guy behind the counter informed me that they could handle the job…for $125. I gave the guy a cockeyed glare and let him know I was quoted $35 for the job. He was obviously disappointed by the news and began to try to convince me that simply cutting the key may not work because “it may have a transponder chip”, which would require the car to be hooked up to a computer and programmed. Hence the word may in the previous quote, as at this point he was definitely not certain that this would be an issue.

It didn’t make sense to me that the key would need any sort of extra programming, as it was clear that my car was already accepting whatever radio frequency this remote was emitting. I told him I’d take my chances on just having the thing cut.

Clearly disappointed that I wasn’t buying his bullshit, he takes my keys and proceeds with the duplication. This process literally took less than 2 minutes. Not even enough time for me to update my Twitter status about this adventure.

He returns with my newly cut key, rings me up for $35, which he certainly deserved for all that labor he put into this job. Then as he hands me my receipt, he confidently informs me that they will be happy to handle the programming of the transponder when I “decide” to have it done. If this guy had not been about 3 times my size, I would have tried to stab him in the eye with the key right there on the spot. I knew before I got to my car that this key wasn’t going to work and so did he.

And, of course, it didn’t. I’m still not sold on the idea that a transponder has anything to do with this, as the key definitely seemed to fit awkwardly in the ignition and for all I know the guy used some secret locksmith trick to ensure that the thing would come close, but not start the car. Frankly, I don’t care. My problem is that this guy knew from the time I explained the job, what it would entail and I’m confident that he didn’t learn anything new between the time I walked in and after he had processed my payment that would allow him to predict that simply cutting the key would not work.

Rather than spend any more time on this stupid process, I’m cutting my losses and will just shave the non-working key down to function as a keyless entry remote (which is all I wanted to begin with) and continue using the key I’ve got.

As for Marshall’s Locksmith, I’m happy to use my secret search engine optimization tricks to ensure that anytime a customer looks them up, they will not fall prey to their deceptive business practices.

Thanks Marshall’s Locksmith! It was a pleasure being ripped off by doing business with you…

Anybody that can listen to this freestyle from Lil Wayne’s new mixtape and still keep talking about what a great lyricist he is needs to stop listening to hip-hop. I’ve tried to give the dude a chance to convince me that I’m just missing something within his lyrics, but I’ve got to call this like I see it and Wayne is just a rapper with a harmonic flow that sounds good when its matched with the right production. When put with the wrong production his records sound like a DJ who has train-wrecked and has two records playing at different speeds. Hopefully no more Lil Wayne and Soulja Boy collaborations are in the works.

Why do we let Bill O’Reilly get away with these constant attacks on hip-hop? My IQ is above 75, therefore making me predisposed to hating Bill O’Reilly. I wonder about the type of person that listens to this sort of rhetoric and is actually amused by this attempt at a joke. Bill’s condemnation of hip-hop is nothing new, but his attacks are becoming outright disrespectful to the entire culture of hip-hop and have absolutely no substance to back them.

Love him or hate him, Diddy is a power player in the hip-hop industry and epitomizes the success that is obtainable in the business. To put the man on the same playing field as Paris Hilton or to characterize him as a socialite is unfair to someone who has worked hard to achieve success. Furthermore, O’Reilly’s inability to give a reason as to why Diddy will be able to continue to do whatever it is he does, demonstrates that O’Reilly is once again taking a cheap shot at hip-hop to stir the pot, with no political rationale to support his statement.

There’s no denying the fact that O’Reilly is a threat to hip-hop. Most shrug off his remarks as having little impact on the industry because of the assumption that most of the people watching his show don’t listen to hip-hop music. They’re right. But that mindset is a little too obtuse because it ignores the trickle down effect that these attacks have on the people outside of the industry who, unfortunately, gain insight on hip-hop culture from people like Bill O’Reilly. His derogatory remarks about hip-hop cut off potential revenue streams outside of the musical realm, as was demonstrated during the Pepsi-Ludacris fiasco a few years back.

How is it that we can be so powerful as a culture, yet can’t silence a man as weak as O’Reilly?

Jay-Z was honored by the United Nations this week for his humanitarian work that has helped bring clean water to various villages in Africa. When was the last time O’Reilly was recognized for his positive contributions to anything?

Joe Budden made a good point about O’Reilly in the October issue of XXL when discussing the inexplicable reason we let O’Reilly play the role of the hip-hop police.

Who does the checking in hip-hop? In hip-hop? There’s nobody out there. Nobody does it. And then we leave all these people, like Bill O’Reilly, that have no idea what hip-hop means, or what it stands for, or what it’s about, to check hip-hop. They can’t do that. They don’t know shit about hip-hop.

It makes no sense that we have yet to create our own outlet, outside of the music itself, that can counter-balance the viewpoints of people like Bill O’Reilly and others who share misguided opinions on hip-hop. Why is it that any rapper willing to make a fool of themselves on national TV can get their own reality show, yet we don’t have a single show that regularly features hip-hop artists speaking intelligently on the actual reality of the world and issues that are important to us?

We can blame the large corporations, the networks, or the Republicans in general for our lack of progress in presenting an educated hip-hop culture to the mainstream, but I don’t buy it. The power is there, it’s on us to take the initiative to create the outlet. Regardless of what people will say about the intelligence of hip-hop music today, you cannot deny that there are plenty of artists capable of presenting and defending an argument on the same issues O’Reilly talks about every night.

Maybe I’m being overly optimistic, but I dream of the day a rapper can make an intelligent statement on a social or political issue which will be appreciated by the mainstream media for the profound thought and original viewpoint that is being expressed and CNN doesn’t have to create a special segment that says “Look! A rapper had something smart to say!”

Is he really writing another story about Soulja Boy? I already hear you and yes, I sure am. But Soulja Boy isn’t entirely the topic of concern here. I actually want to examine why the media, especially the tabloids, love to do everything in their power to assassinate the character of young stars in the entertainment industry.

This week Soulja Boy, at the age of 17, was crowned as the all-time sales leader for digital downloads. This isn’t all that surprising, considering that over the past year this kid has shown the music industry what is truly achievable in this digital world we’re now living in.

You would probably expect that breaking this record would be cause for celebration. He’s sold 3 million downloads, about 50 billion ringtones and is in contention for a Grammy.

Soulja Boy wasn’t celebrating this week. Instead, he was too busy trying to put out fires that tabloid sites had started claiming he was expecting a baby (a very bad look for an artist whose fan base is primarily teen based).

Here is an unedited excerpt from a MySpace bulletin that was posted from Soulja Boy addressing the rumors:

“Wuz hannan dis ya folk Soulja Boy I just wanna let all my fans know that rumor about me having a baby on the way is not true.. So FUCK that site Mediatakeout And FUCK Bet Black carpet for lying on me! Every week is something different.. They Said my Mom was dead. They said I got a girl pregnant. They said i got shot.. Wowww it will never end.. You can’t believe shit about me coming from Mediatakeout so if u see it you automatically know dat shit false..”

The resonating question I continue to ask is, why? Why do these gossip sites feel the need to take every opportunity that comes their way to create and circulate news that is known to be false?

They don’t get all the blame here either. If the public weren’t buying, these sites wouldn’t be in business. The public has made Perez Hilton a rich man because apparently he’s better at selling fake news than most of the others in the game. Now we’ve got a million clones out there with sites just like Xplosive World that believe if they can bamboozle the public like Perez, they’re going to see some of that Perez Hilton money.

So it appears Soulja Boy has become the “it” kid for the moment that these sites want to tear apart (where did Brittany Spear’s sister go?). The manner in which they are drawing these stories on him is just plain reckless. It seems like when these sites lock in on a target, they won’t stop until they’ve accomplished their goal: to destroy the reputation of celebrities to the point that it has caused unrepairable damage to their image. Why?

I don’t understand the benefits that come from this kind of journalism. If they accomplish their goal and sway public opinion against their targets; doesn’t that leave them with less of a pool of celebrities to attack? I suppose that’s why these same people have to create celebrities to talk about (see:RE: MTV’s Tila Tequila and Bobby Banhart call it quits).

The best strategy for Soulja Boy right now is to just keep it moving. Enjoy the success and don’t throw fuel to any fire these sites have started.

They love the fact that they were able to strike a nerve with him and are now aware that he’s vulnerable to their attacks. Next time it’s a slow day on the fake news wire, I’m sure there will be plenty of brainstorming as to what they can sell to the public that might just be believable enough to start some controversy.

What the tabloid sites don’t realize is they’re playing with fire. They’re not going to generate the same sort of response that is typical every time they uncover the shocking development that another socialite has entered rehab or an actor was actually seen and photographed buying a cup of coffee.

The whole existence of these sites is based on a cult following of readers across the internet. Well, guess who else has a cult following across the internet? Soulja Boy’s fans are a very loyal bunch and I’m not talking about the one’s that jumped on the bandwagon when “Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)” started playing on BET. I’m talking about the hundreds of thousands of teens that have been on board before the rest of America was trying to Superman Dat H**. These kids are smart, know how to organize for a cause and will be happy to crash servers and flood message boards to defend the artist THEY created. They won’t be playing into the hands of these sites either by boosting their traffic and making it easier to sell ad space. They’ll swoop in one day, leave their mark, then move on to the next site. No drawn out debates from these fans, they’ve got too much real estate to cover thanks to the ever-growing number of tabloid sites regurgitating the same fake news.

At the end of the day, all you’re left with is a very uncool site that most teens wouldn’t touch if you paid them and a stigma attached to your name/site that won’t be quickly forgotten.

So congratulations to Soulja Boy on reaching another milestone in his career. For a kid everyone was quick to write-off as a one hit wonder, he sure seems to be sticking around a lot longer than expected and now he’s officially important enough to cause the gossip mongers to run wild with rumors that are so old that Soulja Boy should be a grandfather at this point.

Love him or hate him, I don’t think you’re going to stop him with bad press.

Seriously?

This is news?

Apparently it was important enough to be a cover story on Yahoo.

As someone that pretty much lives on the internet, it’s pretty sad that I have to ask this; but who the f*** is Tila Tequila?

The words most frequently used to describe her: internet celebrity. Ok. What does an internet celebrity actually do? Is she just good at internet-ing? So I went to Tila Tequila’s renowned MySpace page, which is devastatingly currently under construction, yet still on pace for about 500K song plays today.

So she’s a musician?

I wouldn’t go that far. I was able to get through 30 seconds of one of the songs on her page before unloading a clip in my computer speakers. You would think that with the popularity she’s established, a record label would’ve been all over that by now. Maybe the music thing is just a side hustle and she just doesn’t want to deal with the pressure of putting together what I’m sure would be a classic album. This might also interfere with all the other stuff she’s got going on.

What kind of other stuff?

Well…I think she might be some sort of model. I checked out her exciting picture collection and found a variety of shots with Tila in various states of nudity. The thing is, most of the pictures looked like they were just pictures of her modeling for Myspace.

Does that even count?

She did have 3 magazine covers in there. Unfortunately, Penthouse was the only one I was familiar with.

So what the f*** does she do?

According to Yahoo she’s a “TV Personality” now. I think that’s usually a nice way of saying “not an actress”. I admittedly caught about 30 seconds of “Shot At Love”, a show based on the premise of; will Tila Tequila fall in love with a man…or is she a lesbian? While loading up the nine preparing to put in work on my TV, I remember thinking to myself “Wow. That girl has the personality of a rock. Tila better give her the boot before she starts dragging ratings down. Oh wait…That is Tila.” Of course, the show didn’t get canceled. In fact, the season finale was MTV’s highest rated program in 2 years and in the end it appears that Tila found true love with a MAN, who has now apparently fulfilled the fantasies of every other man to ever surf the internet.

Oops. Guess not. Because of the overwhelming success of the show, MTV has decided to bring it back for ANOTHER season and unfortunately for Tila and that guy she picked, things just weren’t meant to be. I’ve always wondered how these reality love shows actually play out when the cameras stop rolling. Thanks to this guy, now I know. He publicly stated, “she never called me after the last show and no one would give me her number.” And of course, for the sake of irony, this guy shared his story on the most credible of news sources…Myspace.

This will probably stir up some debate, but I wasn’t captain of the debate team at Yale for nothin’.

(Disclaimer: DJ Xplosive has no affiliation with Yale and is a pathological liar.)

Soulja Boy is nominated for the Best Rap Song at this year’s Grammy Awards. His competitors in this category include 2 highly-acclaimed releases from Kanye West’s Graduation album, a hit single from previous Grammy nominee T.I. and a single from the former Soundscan Killa, 50 Cent.

That’s tough competition. I’ll be the first to admit that the youngster is definitely the underdog here. So, let’s examine the other tracks and hopefully by the end of this column you will all be checking the box for Soulja Boy when filling out your Grammy ballots (…because I know most of my readers are on the voting committee).

Let’s start with TI. Tip has been one of my favorite rappers over the past few years, standing head and shoulders above his peers in the class of rappers that have come to define the “new south”. His nominated track, “Big Things Poppin”, was a good leadoff for a highly anticipated album. Unfortunately, the rest of the album didn’t live up to expectations, and while I won’t say it was a total disaster, this was definitely a rushed project and this single lacks any unique qualities that would lead someone to say “This was the best rap song to come out this year!”

It doesn’t win for 2 reasons:

1) The track wasn’t produced by DJ Toomp. Why was Toomp not on this album? If I’m a rapper and there’s one producer that always seems to be able to mesh with my style and helps me deliver classics…I’m sticking with that guy, regardless of how many tracks we’ve done together.

2) His legal problems. I hope Tip is able to beat the charges that have been brought against him, but I think that this will be a factor that Grammy voters will take into consideration, as they won’t be looking to bring more attention to his situation and will want to distance themselves from him for the time being.

Next up we’ve got Mr. Vitamin Water himself, Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson. While 50′s bank account had a GREAT year, 50 Cent the rapper did not. He went head to head with Kanye in the memorable Soundscan showdown of 9/11…and lost. To be fair, I won’t focus on 50′s up and down year as an artist and stick to the track. He is nominated for his collaboration with Justin Timberlake on “Ayo Technology”. This track was about as exciting as Major League Soccer. It was an attempt to be overly sexy, while still maintaining an urban edge, that just struck out. The sluggish rhyme delivery, accompanied by a painfully dull hook, combined to deliver a track that should have never seen the light of day. If the nominating committee was really that compelled to include 50 Cent in this category; couldn’t they have at least nominated “I Get Money”?

And then we have Kanye West. Kanyeezy has 2 records nominated in this category, the smooth and relaxed, “Can’t Tell Me Nothing”, and the upbeat T-Pain assisted, “Good Life”. Both strong records and sure contenders. I know to the dismay of some, this is a hard statement to swallow, as an artist, Kanye can do no wrong in my book. The dude is a genius and making music that is incomparable to any of his peers in the game right now. The reason he doesn’t win in this category is because his dual nomination cancels him out. I know, it’s an unfortunate technicality for him, but he’s either destined for greatness in more prestigious categories or the Grammy people just like to nominate Kanye because his outbursts are known to draw higher ratings.

So that leaves us with Crank That Soulja Boy. Why should a song that will be remembered mostly for setting off a dance craze and Youtube parodies win a songwriter’s award? The answer to that would be because this song has only one writer…who was a 16 year old high school student when he made the record.

Sure, it’s not terribly complicated in its composition and the rhymes won’t have him competing for any lyricist trophies, but the song is brilliant in its simplicity. Soulja Boy wasn’t trying to make a record to compete with the top dogs in the industry. He was making a record that has just enough substance to catch your attention and gave his fans something to have fun with.

America took this record and ran wild with it to the point that next thing you know we’ll see President Bush Crankin’ That Soulja Boy.

Okay, I hope it doesn’t go that far, but you should see where I’m going with this. A 16 year old kid messing around with his computer and throwing together some phrases that really only made sense to him at the time, was able to single-handedly compose a record that would become an international phenomenon. How many other nominees can say that?

The future of hip-hop?

Please welcome Mr. DJ Xplosive back into the world of blogs!

Yessir, don’t get it twisted, this isn’t my first go round with putting some thoughts and opinions out there on this culture we’ve come to know as hip-hop. Just the first on this site ya’ll seem to know and love.

I did a monthly/bi-monthly/whenever I felt like dropping some knowledge column for an online mag back in college. Looking back now, that joint had editors who would occasionally make some slight changes to my stuff (ex: my column originally titled “What the Hell is Wrong With 50 Cent?” was published as “2005: The Year of 50″); so technically was that even a blog?

Well…no censors this time around. That’s not to say I’m gone be airing cats out and talking recklessly, but I might have to hurt some feelings every now and then.

I decided my first post should give people a little insight into what it is I do. I’m not going to drop the bio because I’ve got MySpace, Facebook and about 300 other profiles that can give you the run down on my past endeavors. I’m talking what I really do and why that dude you see up top might just be the future of the hip-hop business.

Manager, publicist, booking agent, assistant, CEO, publisher, marketing manager, partner, radio promoter, e-mail blaster, web designer, administrator, street team consultant, IT technician, critic, graphic designer, licensor, engineer, DJ and occasionally… a**hole. Yep. These would all be titles and roles you’ll find me carrying on a daily basis. The worst part about it is that list doesn’t even include my main title, online promotion specialist.

I just made that last position up because I wouldn’t really say there’s an official name for what I do. Basically, I run the best online promotion game in the business and make superstars through the buzz I create online for an artist. I’m not going to detail my client list or get too self-absorbed, but many of you can probably put the pieces together on a lot of the people I’ve worked with and may understand why it seems like I’ve got half the industry trying to get me on their projects and the other half probably has someone looking over my shoulder (and if you don’t fall into either of these categories, I’m guessing you’re losing a lot of money right now).

So what makes me so good? It’s partially the common stuff that you associate with success like dedication, ingenuity and passion.

I’d say what sets me apart is my vision. You may have noticed in my list of titles one of them included DJ. For over 8 years I dedicated a good portion of my time to the craft of DJ’ing- whether it was on mixtapes, college radio or the club, you could always catch me with the hottest playlist in town and keeping the crowd moving at every venue I stepped foot in. Some have gone on to channel the skills you learn as a DJ into positions in A&R. You could say I’ve taken the same approach to online promotion. Every project I take on involves reading a different crowd, catching a rhythm with them and catering to their tastes.

So why does all this make me the future of hip-hop?

Like I mentioned before we’re seeing more and more DJ’s take the reigns of A&R positions with major labels these days. I love it. There’s more youth in the big offices and a lot of guys with proven ears are now getting a shot to break artists out on the big stage.

Unfortunately, sometimes these new responsibilities seem to cause people to lose that competitive mindset that comes with being a DJ and you become driven by numbers and trends. I don’t mean to single out the DJ’s because all A&R’s can become guilty of this. Sometimes the artist they just signed is the equivalent of the hottest record in the crates at the moment, but by the time they actually get an album out the market has shifted, the timing is off and that’s when the debut album becomes a train wreck and the artist goes back on the shelf, unlikely to see another spin.

My job is a lot different. I’m constantly consuming information about what listeners of all ages and demographics are supporting and always have to be savvy of the latest technology that is going to keep me on top of the game. This is the sort of thing that is setting me up to become a one-man army, able to handle just about any position commonly found in the offices of major labels. While the rest of the industry is looking for ways to adapt to the new changes that have come with this digital-based market- I’m writing the book.

Every quarter we hear about more lost revenue by the major labels. There seems to be a resistance to change in the industry and most labels are scrambling trying to figure out ways to make CDs sell millions of copies again. STOP! Those days are over. Execs that are only looking at BDS and Soundscan numbers when trying to find their next big act don’t get it. Kids don’t need radio or a physical product anymore to get them hooked on an artist. If you don’t have someone on the front lines that knows the digital world of music and how to read into the online buzz of an artist, you’re going to continue to lose (and that’s not a subliminal suggestion that you should all be offering me a position either, because you probably can’t afford me). There’s never been a better time to independent in this business and that doesn’t just apply to artists. I’ll take money from the majors all day to show them how it’s done, but you best believe that I’m not working for peanuts because I already know that what I’m bringing to the table is better than any plans or strategies you’ve already got.

So to sum things up, you’re not going to find another 26 year old in this business that’s doing what I do with the precision and effectiveness that my work produces. I did an interview back in college where I stated “Most of what I’m doing at any given time of the day is involved with some aspect of Hiphop, or I’m thinking about it” (Hiphop More than Just Music- The Post- 5/19/06). Not much has changed since then. The toughest question I ever get is “So, besides music and all this online stuff; what do you do? Don’t you have any hobbies?” I never have a good answer for that. Sure I’ll hit the bars and clubs every once in a while, but even then you’ll probably find me networking with random people who just might have something to bring to the table or else I’m out with others who work in the industry and as much as we try…there’s no avoiding shop talk about music.

Don’t get it twisted, I’m not a cocky person and I definitely don’t do all this alone. I’ve been blessed with the best team of partners, associates and artists to work with whose own work ethic all mirrors that of my own. If somebody isn’t ready for an average 19 hour workday, willing to put in work 7 days a week (and on holidays) and you haven’t come to a point where things like eating and sleeping have to be added to your Outlook calendar- then you’re probably not ready to hang with the crew.

Hopefully this has provided you with enough info to understand the enigma of DJ Xplosive and you’ll keep checking back, as I promise this column is not intended to be my outlet for self-promotion. All my columns will definitely not be this long and drawn out and I’ll make sure to keep this site fresh with plenty of features, new music and whatever else I find that hip-hop fans need to know. So stay tuned…